Aunt Fancy

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Posts by Aunt Fancy

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  50

  How many in the cong visited you when you started fading

  by joe134cd in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm just curious speaking from a person who has stopped going to meetings.

  i have heard reports from inactive ones (or from ones who the elders suspect of going to the dark side) of having so many visits from elders (cong members) that it got to the point of harassment.

  surprisingly i have to say from personal experience and from numerous others that i have spoken to that the exact opposite has been the case.

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  Aunt Fancy

  We started our fade 19 months ago. Right when we started it I found out I had breast cancer. They sent a sister over who had it too but I did not answer the door. They also sent the CO over last year and we have had a few elders stop by along with one phone call. We never answered the door or the phone. We use to have a pioneer/elders wife clean our home for 16 years and we got rid of her after we had been fading for about a year. I couldn't take the fact that she was in our house and I had to hide everything I was reading and couldn't decorate for the holidays.

  I think the thing that bothered me the most was one of my good "conditional" friends told me on the phone two weeks into my radiation treatments I was her best friend. That was the last time I ever heard from her which was over a year ago. Great friend!!! Can't even give you support through treatment.
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  18

  The Elders Returned, as Promised!

  by exWTslave in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  wonderful love!.

  wonderful love!.

  wonderful love!.

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  Aunt Fancy

  You are a threat to them because you were a former elder. They will continue to go after you and I would be very surprised if they don't DF you.

  I loved what you said; I “helped many to return to JWs org, through my shepherding calls.” That means there were many others whom I could not persuade to return to JW org. Because my WT-trained reasoning worked with the gullible, but not with those who had sound reasoning power and were well-grounded in the Bible—these were the ones who actually inspired me to THINK properly!”
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  15

  Tainted Love: Your JW wedding

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  mine was actually great because my non-jw parents decided to pay for the reception, limo, cake, dress, honeymoon, and more.

  i can thank my non-jw parents for what a totally fun day it was.. but, half or more of the guests were jws, jws who don't speak to me anymore.

  some have even slandered and abused me.

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  Aunt Fancy

  We will be married 32 years on Thursday. My family lived 1600 miles away from us and it was both of our second marriage. I was not a JW and my husband was DF at the time so we went out to a little country Justice of the Peace and I had a girlfriend stand for me and his cousin stood for him. His dad was there (an inactive JW) but his mom did not attend because he was DF which at the time I didn't understand.

  A week later we had a nice party at the house and the girlfriend who stood for me, her mom made a wedding cake for us. Now what is funny is his mom came to the party! We did not go on a honeymoon for 5 years because we were young and starting a business but when we finally went on one we went to Steamboat Springs, Colorado which was such a romatice place.

  I am am a real girly girl and I always wanted a big fancy wedding but never got it. Years ago my husband wanted to do another wedding so I could have the works but we decided against it because of the religion.

  We didn't have a professional photographer but if I were you, I would choose only the pictures with just the two of you to put out so you just remember the love you felt for each other that day and still do to this day.
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  39

  At what point did you destroy your Blood card?

  by BU2B in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know for me it was soon after lurking here for awhile and reading some threads on the issue.

  i remenber when i tore it into little tiny pieces.

  it felt so liberating..

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  Aunt Fancy

  We started fading 19 month ago. I think a couple of weeks after reading COC I put it threw the shredder and it felt so liberating.
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  29

  What are you doing on Valentine's? I was invited to a party... er... a JC

  by ILoveTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i go to that dinner with my parents.

  it worked great!

  i think i increased my mom's cog dis just by showing her i am the same good person, and having fun.

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  Aunt Fancy

  Hang in there! If it were me I would not attend a JC and just walk away with your head held high. They only have control over you if you give it to them. I know it is so important to you to get your parents out and I think you are doing such a loving thing by contacting Steve Hassen to see if he can help you. I really hope it works.

  I doubt your parents are as old as my husband and I are but they still have plenty of time to get out and start their life over. We are 58 & 60 and we started our exit 19 months ago. It isn't easy but it is so much better then living a lie and it taking such a huge toll of my health. Our lives have changed for better and we are doing new and exciting things now.

  Let us know what happens and I hope it goes well. You have a lot of courage and keep up the good work you are doing.
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  27

  One mom, half a dad, and at least three friends lost... But at least 4 lives "saved" from WT mind control... 400 to go

  by ILoveTTATT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so... i have just posted a link to freedom of mind and the bite model on fb.... .

  i am gonna take a snapshot of the # of friends on fb and the ones i have after i tell people privately that i don't want to be a jw anymore..

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  Aunt Fancy

  I am sorry to hear things have gotten worse with your family. I have been following your journey since you came on but I haven't been on much lately so I need to catch up with your situation. Most of us understand what you are going through and it takes a lot of courrage to stand up for what is the truth and to say no to a distructive cult. Hang in there. You are young and have so much going for you. I know it hurts to lose most of the people you love. It sure is an up and down adventure that is for sure!
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  19

  Gum Chewing....Allowed in your hall or not?

  by LostGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so when i attended, this was never an issue - its been five years since i was booted.

  a bit before i woke up, a couple visiting us (middle america) from the deep south basically told me this never, ever was allowed in their hall.

  no 'priveleges' for a guy who chewed gum.

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  Aunt Fancy

  I remember over the years different articles would come out especially around the DC or they would let us know in the announcements not to chew gum. For awhile no one would chew gum and then gradually it would start up again until the next announcement.
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  51

  Was There ANYTHING The Watchtower Taught You That Benefited You?

  by minimus in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  besides learning how to speak publicly, has the watchtower given you any benefits?

  ?.

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  Aunt Fancy

  I was not brought up in the religion so my parents taught me to be honest, to work hard and every other good quality I have. The only thing I received was years of heartache but I learned what to watch out for and to listen to my instincts. I regret every minute I spent in the cult.
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  234

  Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

  by Lady Lee in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

  one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

  if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

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  Aunt Fancy

  I knew of six.

  A teen who had an eating disorder and nearly died of it eventually committed suicide.

  An elders wife who just had a family part on the CA the week before and I talked with her a couple of days before took a knife and killed herself.

  A friend of ours her father killed himself.

  A local elder who was in Bethel for years jumped off of a high bridge, they found his body months later.

  A young brother drove off the road into a pond and couldn't swim.

  My husbands ex brother in law committed a very slow suicide by drinking himself to death in his mid 40's. He was so bad they found him in a basement on an old mattress dead.

  I suffered from depression and it started a year after I was baptized. It got very bad and I did seek help from a professional. Right before I woke up I thought about ending it many times but for me the love I have for my family always stopped me. I would go through the thoughts but then I would think about how much I love my family and what it would do to them and I couldn't put them through it so I am thankful I was able to stop it. I became such a recluse and I wouldn't leave our master bedroom sitting room for weeks at a time. My husband was scared for me and we found a wonderful therapist that helped us get stronger and we finally saw that the religion was the problem. I have been off meds for two years now and I never even go there now. I will have a down day very rarely now which is just part of life but nothing like what I felt before.

  Right before I woke up I went to the elders thinking I could get help but that was a huge mistake. I had never trusted them the entire 30 years I was in but for some reason I gave them a chance and they failed miserably. I understand now why they did, we expect uneducated men to understand mental illness and they have no training or a clue how to deal with mental illness. When my husband was an elder he would let them talk about their feelings but he always instructed them to seek professional help. I know that wasn't a popular recommendation from the WTS but he knew they needed more help and he wasn't qualified to give more than a listening ear, being kind and loving to them.

  Some of these experiences many of you have suffered are heartbreaking. Sending you a big hug!
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  51

  What's The Worst Scandal You Know Regarding Jehovah's Witnesses?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .....whether it be in the congregation or from "headquarters"?

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  Aunt Fancy

  We had a couple we loved to travel with I will call Ron & Jen they in turn had a couple they hung with i will call Dan & Tammy. We did not care for Dan & Tammy because Dan screwed people when he did work for them and he was just a creep. Well Jen kept talking about Dan and I told her she needed to be careful and one night Ron came over to let us know that they were getting a divorce because Jen had an afair with Dan. Jen & Dan got married and DF'd and shortly after Ron and Tammy got married but neither of them were DF's. It was a huge scandle in this area. Jen & Dan were reinstated and he is now a MS which I don't get because he is still screwing his clients in business and he hasn't paid income taxes in 30 years! The funny thing is Ron & Tammy got a divorce and they each bought a home then turned around and got married to each other again!! Crazy!